I’ve Tied My Lover Up. Now What Do I Do?

I’ve Tied My Lover Up. Now What Do I Do?

Before reading this, check out our post We Want Kinky Play: Where Do We Start?  about how to set up this perfect kinky evening. 

Ok, so you’ve had the convo, done the preps, set the scene. And now it’s on. You have toys, candles, music. You have a restrained partner at your mercy. You are the sexy-sexy Top, with your bondage bunny girl or sub-puppy boy tied up and, for the next few hours, you ‘own their ass’.

And now?

(First, remember SSC: Safe, Sane, Consensual. Second, remind your sub about the safe-word. And now… let your freak flags fly!) 

Start with sexy talk and sensation play. While gently caressing or tickling them with one of your silk or feather toys, start telling them how you feel looking at them tied up, and the delicious, decadent, disgusting things you are going to do to them. Remember some of their fantasies, describing them in every detail while lightly nibbling, scratching, caressing sensitive areas of their body. Avoid the genitals, except for the lightest of teasing, fleeting brushes.

When you see they are aroused and ready to be pounced on… don’t! 

It is time for the blindfold. Blocking someone’s vision heightens their other responses, so they’re going to become highly sensitized to touch, sounds, smells. Blindfolded, one gets more pleasure from the simplest of things. Let your lover have one last look at your body, before leaning over them to tie the blindfold. Now lean in and whisper “Be a good girl, don’t move one inch until I’m back…” or “Sit still, boy, sit dead still and wait for Me…”

Now walk across the room and open and shut the door loudly, but don’t actually leave. You can enjoy watching them squirm for a while. Then, move up next to them quietly and whisper “I’m back, baby.”

You may want to change their position. Tying, binding, or restraining a partner can be a powerful erotic, aesthetic and tactile jolt of pleasure, and taking time to change it up adds another sexy charge.  Take your time, draw it out. With a good binding kit, you have options of tying to chairs, beds, tables, window frames, you name it. 

Tell your submissive lover what you are doing. With the blindfold on, everything is ultra-heightened so the sound of your voice will drive them crazy. 

Play, play, play.

Use all the toys and lubes, use your lover’s body. Remember to use spanking or flogging tools with care. Make sure you have practiced before the evening – never, ever hit someone with something you don’t know how to use properly. Have fun but be deliberate and sober in your movements. 

Let your lover know you are in control, but give lots of attention to their pleasure. Slow down and check in often, ask your partner if they are at the green, orange, or red. Of course, red is the equivalent of using the safe-word (which makes it a great safe-word).  

Speaking of red, oil massage candles are ultra sexy. They get very warm but not hot enough to burn the skin like regular candles, and the wax rubs in like any other massage oil. Try our exquisitely decorated Vanilla or Rose Shunga candles, alternating between drizzling this wonderfully smelling, warm wax over your lover’s erogenous areas and standing back to watch the reaction. Order them to massage your feet while you taunt and tease them. 

Related: Sex Toys: The Ultimate Guide

We hope you found all this sexy, fun, and doable! 

When the night is over, give your little pet lots of love and reassurances. Someone who has submitted to you and allowed you to have your deliciously dirty way with them will need aftercare. It is your job as a good Top, to make sure that they look forward to the next time.  

And yes… there will be a next time! 

Have fun, Lovers! 

Related: Sex Toys: The Ultimate Guide

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