Sex Toys: A Beginner’s Guide.

Sex Toys: A Beginner’s Guide

So today I’ll be talking about our favorite three-letter word: SEX. A word that has the power to silence a room. However, I will not be talking about sex alone. It is time to discuss an aspect of sex that is often extremely underrated: sex toys and how to use them. If you are a first-timer looking to spice up your sex life, you are going to be mind-blown at the potential.

Sex toys are widely available yet for some odd reason people are still unsure about them and don’t want to ask for assistance when venturing into the world of sex accessories. So today I’m just going to give you a few basic pointers to get you started.

ARE Sex Toys Only For Single People?

The biggest myth about sex toys is that they are reserved for solitary sex. Although there are many adult toys that are purely for women, or specifically for men, there is an abundance of toys created to bring pleasure and enhanced togetherness in couples. By incorporating toys into your life, you can spice up your intimate encounters, get closer than you have ever been before… and achieve more orgasms.

The biggest myth about sex toys is that it is only for single people.

Adult toys also improve communication and help yourself to discover your own, and your partner’s, erogenous zones.

Sex Toys For Couples: When You Play Together You Stay Together!

It is understandable that you may not have had a lot of discussions about the various aspects of sex. Sometimes communication is learned, and you will find that if you start off with your more innocuous fantasies, they will be easier to share.

Ideally, if either of you is threatened or unsure about using sex toys, this can be a way of, opening up your communication. Finding out what you like, what your boundaries are, and what you are open to learning can be a wonderful journey. It enables you both to feel heard. It gives you a chance to take chances. And it opens up, avenues for enormous change.

Oh, and pleasure of course!! Let’s not forget the sheer pleasure waiting for you.

So, here are some brilliant starter items to get both of you warmed up…

A SEX toy Starter Kit For Beginners

Lubrication Is First On The List

First things first. If you are going to start introducing any type of adult toy, you must first invest in a good lubricant.

This helps with so many aspects of sex, making your encounters with your partner much smoother, giving you hotter foreplay and intensified sexual pleasure. Lube is brilliant for quickies: as it eliminates delays between foreplay and actual sex.

If you are using condoms, experimenting with anal, or wanting some yummy flavours for your oral, lubes are a key ingredient. There are more lubes on the market than you can imagine! Read our in-depth blog post about lubrication right here.

All You Need Is Lube

The most important thing to know is that there are 2 main types of lubes for different types of sex:

Water-based lubricant is best for adult toys, as it washes off easily, does not leave any residue, and does not harm the material in any way. Always look for natural ingredients where possible. And, like most creams, you should definitely test them on the arm before slapping it onto the genital areas.

Silicone-based lubricant is far slicker and thicker. It is preferable for anal, which really needs a lot of help compared to vaginal sex. The vagina is a self-lubricating organ, but the back area is definitely not!

Always remember to start very slowly and carefully in that type of sex-play, and to use a lot of lube as it does tend to get absorbed by the skin.

Blindfolds Make For Great Beginnings

Blindfolds are a brilliant baby-step into sex adventures! Don’t worry, using blindfolds do not mean you are on the path to fully-fledged BDSM. They are just a great way to add spice, and also, take the pressure off both partners.

This is a wonderful way to reverse the usual dynamic. Or to really embrace it!

When you are the one wearing the blindfold: you are able to, become so much more aware of all the subtle nuances of slower sex play. With all your other senses heightened, you can appreciate every little thing your partner is doing. You are also so much more receptive, as there is absolutely nothing expected from you other than to lie back, relax completely, and receive your partner’s loving attention.

If you are being the more dominant partner, having your lover, gloriously, ‘in the dark’ gives you time to experiment. It is a thrilling feeling, being in complete control. As long as your partner is comfortable and warm, you can take your sweet time. Perhaps this will offer you the confidence to take things a little further than you have before. Have you ever wanted to use dirty talk, tickers, or different types of oral? Having your partner blindfolded will give you the freedom to try all kinds of other adult toys and techniques!

Try a lightweight, soft satin blindfold like the Struggle My Versatile Tie. Perfectly shaped to enhance the excitement and make sure that your partner sees nothing, and simply focuses on the feelings they are experiencing with you.

Cock Rings Give You More Turgidity And Longevity

Now that you have lubed up and introduced some mystery in the bedroom, let’s talk about sex toys for men. Constriction rings, aka Cock Rings, offer the benefits of harder and longer-lasting erections.

The common myth about Cock Rings is that they are only for men experiencing erectile dysfunction. They certainly do give enormous help for ED but are also used for extending the duration of sexual encounters. They can also add a big fun factor!

With the variety of rings available, there are many reasons and many ways to use them.

  1. Simple doughnuts: rubbery rings which can be worn around the base of the shaft, or around the testicles.
  2. Adjustable cock rings: perfect for beginners who are figuring out what they like.
  3. Double cock rings these feature one ring for the penis and another to go around the testicles.
  4. Clitoris-stimulating and Vibrating cock ring: these come with little bumps for her pleasure, or with a mini bullet vibrator. This product is not just for him but will also heighten her experience, giving her extra clitoral stimulation.

We recommend number 4; it is a real win-win!

Related: Cock Rings. The Complete Guide

Vibrators For Beginners

Have you never tried a vibrator before? You are in for a treat. Vibrators can help alleviate a lot of sexual work. They are literally little sex machines, for guaranteed orgasms, and longer playtimes. And if you have tried a vibrator in the distant past, you will be amazed at how the technology has grown. Gone are the days of batteries, as most vibrators these days are USB chargeable.

There are many varieties, but the mainstays are clitoral stimulators (outside) and G-Spot stimulators (inside). Within these two categories, you will find so many exciting choices including:

  1. Bullet Vibratorscompletely unintimidating, these are very small, and deftly shaped. Their job is clitoral stimulation, but they can be used all over anybody, including nipples and scrotum, to great effect.
  2. Remote Controlled Vibrators: these little buddies come with a vibrating piece for her, and remote control for him. You can start playing with this in the privacy of your own space, and you will most likely gain confidence fast! Soon you will be playing all over the town. Imagine how much more interesting your next company drinks outing could be! But of course, take baby steps.
  3. Rabbits Vibrators: if you are a very adventurous beginner, you can try one of these. They are generally bulkier as they come with so many assets. Expect the standard vibrator shapes, but with an additional ‘dolphin’ extension for clitoral stimulation.

Perhaps leave this for your second shopping trip. For the initial foray into the world of sex toys, we recommend starting with a bullet vibrator, and a couples-bonding toy like a wireless vibrator.

Related: Buying Your First Vibrator: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

The Final Word On Sex Toys For Beginners:

Bringing in sex toys is not a comment on either partners’ abilities or virility. Sex toys are there to enhance, not replace. And if there is something that does need replacing, is it not wonderful that sex toys are there to lend a hand? (Or whatever else needs lending?)

Related: How to Introduce Sex Toys in your Relationship

Just to repeat, all, of the adult toys I have mentioned in this list are best used with lots of lubricant… and imagination. So, now that you know how to introduce sex toys into your bedroom, what are you waiting for?

Feel like reading more? Check out this excellent article on the health benefits of a good sex life.

Feel free to comment, or to get hold of us. We are here to help you!

Olivia’s recommendation: Fifty Shades of Grey Soft No Peeking Blindfold Twin Pack

We stock Fifty Shades of Grey merchandise. One of the most-requested items from the Fifty Shades collection that isn’t too intimidating, and can be incorporated into your bedroom is the Fifty Shades of Grey Satin Deluxe Blindfold. This is a lightweight, soft satin blindfold that will enhance the excitement and make sure that your partner sees nothing and simply focuses on the feelings they are experiencing with you.

Olivia’s recommendation:  Lovering Rain Fun Factory

The Fun Factory Lovering Rain is a soft plastic cock ring that goes on the penis, where it sits comfortably on the base. It is made of soft silicone and can be easily removed at any time. This product is not just for him but will also heighten her experience, giving her extra clitoral stimulation. A win-win for everyone!

Olivia’s Clitoris-Stimulating Vibrator recommendation:  Secret Touch Mini Vibrator

Meet the Fifty Shades of Grey Secret Touching Massager Mini Vibrator. It is a tiny silicone bullet finger stimulator that has a tender place in the bedrooms of many couples. The thick loop for your finger offers optimum control. There is a textured surface, which intensifies stimulation. This is perfect for couples as it can be used to intensify stimulation on the clitoris during intercourse.

Olivia’s G-Spot Stimulating Vibrator recommendation:  Lelo Soraya Vibrator

The Lelo Soraya Cerise is a must-have for women. It is a sleek modern vibrator that offers inside and outside stimulations. You can enjoy G-Spot stimulation and clitoral stimulation at the same time. It is super powerful, yet silent and fast charging. The Lelo Soraya is a premium step up from the humble rabbit vibrator.