Sex Toys: The Ultimate Guide

Sex Toys: The Ultimate Guide

Today, sex toys have become a hot topic as the world is slowly becoming a place that is more accepting of the different genders or sexual preferences people identify or experiment with.

It’s all thanks to the efforts of the thousands advocating for the rights of each and every individual to be who they want to be, to love whoever they want to love and however they want to love them without fear of discrimination or persecution.

At Olivia Gray, we also believe that everyone is entitled to enjoy themselves in whichever way they desire. It’s our mission to help start conversations that dispel some of the taboo around the “touchy” topic that is sex.

With this ultimate guide to sex toys, we hope to give everyone a resource that allows them to explore their sexuality in a safe and sexy way.

With that said, let’s get stuck in.

Explore our index for whatever tickles your fancy, rocks your boat or lights your candle below (in no specific order):

The Stigma Behind Sex Toys

9 Ways Sex Toys Can Be Beneficial

Sex Toys For Beginners

Sex Toys For Women

Sex Toys For Men

Sex Toys For Couples

Gay & Lesbian Sex Toys

The Climax

The Stigma Behind Sex Toys

For the longest time, adult toys have had this stigma and shame connected to them, it was never something most people could openly talk about, well because no one was talking about it.

Luckily, over the past few years there has been a massive shift in people’s thinking and the negative stigma surrounding these hot items is slowly fading — not to say it’s been completely eradicated, but this wave of expanded consciousness that the world is now experiencing has made having conversations about sex and sex products way less controversial.

People are finally starting to own their sexuality and have the conversations we thought for so long it was wrong to have. Social networks like Instagram are a perfect example of this — they have given people the platform and power to spread awareness and connect with like-minded individuals who want to have these conversations and be educated.

Regardless of what you may have heard about sex toys, the perception you may have of them or even if you are a big proponent of them, these playthings are here to help you explore your deepest sexual desires or most vivid fantasies by yourself, a partner or multiple people in a way that is both fun and safe.

These loving objects of our affection can often carry some shame and are quite often misunderstood and intimidating for those that don’t know anything about them or where to start.

Don’t let what society has dictated to us for so long, keep you from learning and discovering untapped sexual pleasures.

At the end of the day, we are sexual beings who deserve to experience our bodies in all its wonder.

9 Ways Sex Toys Can Be Beneficial


  1. Pleasure through play is powerful – why do you think they’re called sex “toys” and not sex tools or instruments. It’s meant to be playful and fun.
  2. No one can know your body like you – you can’t expect someone else to know what you like and want if you don’t know yourself.
  3. Playtime empowers you with the knowledge and confidence to ask for what you want – go forth and conquer!
  4. These powerful little gadgets can create enough arousal to help override any feelings of self-consciousness, allowing you to fully focus on the pleasure at play.
  5. Improve your sexual function, increase endorphins and relieve stress – Need I say more?
  6. Adult toys can encourage fantasy – let your imagination run wild and begin to explore the sexual being you are in a way that is conducive to you.
  7. Toys for the bedroom are empowering – whether you’re male, female or gender-neutral, they allow you to take control without needing anyone else.
  8. Experiment within your relationship and create sexual communication and closeness – there is nothing wrong with spicing up your sex life.
  9. Self-love through self-pleasure is the greatest act you can do for yourself.

”studies show that vibrator use are “associated with more positive sexual function and being more proactive in caring for one’s sexual health.””

Sex Toys For Beginners

Trying to find the right toy for you can be a rather daunting and overwhelming experience when you are new to the whole concept of adult playtime.

Knowing where to start, how to choose, or how to use sex toys can be like trying to select a movie off Netflix’s vast array of options — spending more time looking for the right movie than actually watching one!

You needn’t worry, as we’ve got you covered on the who’s who and the what’s what in the you know where.

Sex In The City Vibrator

Definition: Sex Toy. Noun. “an object or device used for sexual stimulation or to enhance sexual pleasure.”

Choosing Your Adult Toy

Choosing your first toy can be an intimidating experience when there are so many varied shapes, sizes, and colours. A great starting point would be to give some thought into what it is you think you might like and enjoy exploring, and what you may want to add to your sex life to make things more fun.

Start modest and make your way to the more advanced ones.

You can’t go from zero to hero right from the get-go! You’ll either end up hurting yourself or it’ll put you right off.

Rather take it slow and consider: Is external stimulation or penetration, or maybe both, something you want to try out?

A bullet vibrator/cock ring is the perfect toy for external stimulation — if that’s what does it for you.

Make sure that you start with a vibrator that has a variable vibration mode, which will allow you to customize how you use it and up the intensity as and when you need to.

If penetration is what you yearn for, then a regular vibrator is a good place to start as it’s super versatile and both vibrates and penetrates. However, if you’re not into the buzzing sensation then a straight-up dildo will do the trick.

It’s not advised to go for the largest size when you’re a beginner, however, size is a personal preference.

Other factors such as budget and the material of a toy may be a concern for you, but don’t worry as there is such a vast array of toys to choose from to suit your every need.

When choosing your first toy you should consider all of the elements below.

RELATED: 19 Sex Tips To Spice Up Your Sex Life in 2019 And Beyond!

Best Materials For Safe Fun

It’s so easy to get focused on what experience you want out of a toy that the most important factor missed is making sure that you choose one that is made from non-harmful materials.

You’re going to be putting these objects into some pretty intimate places, so you want to make sure that it’s safe, avoiding any throbbing genitals (the bad kind of throbbing at least).

Materials for adult toys fall into two major categories: porous and non-porous.

Your porous products are generally soft and if a product doesn’t use ABS hard plastic then it’s porous.

Porous toys are best avoided as they can’t be easily cleaned trapping dirt and bacteria.

All materials that include phthalates fall under the porous category as well.

Phthalates are seriously toxic materials to avoid as they are chemicals used in plastics that help to soften and increase flexibility in them.

These chemicals are known to be endocrine disruptors, and could potentially cause cancer.

Buying cheap sex toys are buying expensive if you follow me!

The best sex toys are made from non-porous materials.

These materials are higher in quality, are usually more expensive in price, but they also don’t keep dirt and bacteria and are sterilizable.

Let’s take a look at some of the best non-porous materials below:


Silicone is the perfect material used on high quality toys. Unlike plastic, it feels a lot more softer and pleasing to touch.

This material is hypoallergenic, easy to clean and very durable.

Important to note: Don’t use silicone lubricants with silicone toys as they can damage them.

Hard ABS Plastic

Plastic is usually a lot more affordable, yet still hygienic and easy to clean and maintain.

It also has no taste or odour and can be used with a wide variety of lubes without the fear of it breaking down.

Plastic is great for beginners and advanced users alike and will last a long time.

RO-80mm 7 Speed Rainbow Bullet Vibrator


Metal toys are hard, smooth and heavier in weight. Just like glass they are easy to clean and can also be used for temperature play.

Most of these toys are made of stainless steel or aluminium, but there are a few luxury toys made of gold and silver as well.

Not a typical material for beginners as they are heavier in weight and have a more rigid feeling which allows for firmer pressure.

What makes it the ultimate material is that It’s non-porous, safe for the skin, strong, waterproof and safe for all lubricants.


Glass toys are not only beautiful and easily cleaned, but they are versatile too in that they allow you to experiment with temperature and sensation play.

Gently heat or cool them down to enhance your pleasure.

If the thought of inserting a glass toy down there makes you all kinds of nervous, don’t stress as they are made of borosilicate glass which is incredibly durable and won’t break into a million pieces when dropped.

Glass toys can last a lifetime if cared for and used properly.

Glass Sex Toys


Specially treated wood and stone are other non-porous materials you can find, although they are much less common to come across. These are not only body-safe, but they are also uniquely beautiful.

How to Look After Your Intimate Play Toys

Cleaning your toys is one of the most important things to do once all the fun and games have come to an end.

Looking after your toy shows respect for both yourself and the item at hand, which will keep you from getting any nasties and make your toy’s lifespan longer.

Dos & Don’ts

    1. wash your toy after EVERY use. Don’t be lazy…ever. Use a specific toy cleaner or use some gentle soap and warm water. If you want to be extra safe, wash it before you use it too!
    2. DO use the correct lubricants on your toy. Water-based lube is the safer option to go with as it won’t damage your toys as a silicone-based one will.
    3. DO make sure you change your toys when they start to wear out. If the material is damaged in any way it’s time to go shopping!
    4. DO use a condom if you are playing with a partner. You don’t necessarily need a condom for solo play as long as you keep the toy clean.
    5. DON’T share your toy, just like you wouldn’t share your toothbrush. Cock rings or double ended dildos are obviously shared to some degree, but never use a vibrator or a dildo and pass it onto someone else regardless of whether you’ve cleaned it or not.
    6. DON’T put a toy anywhere you shouldn’t.
    7. DON’T let your toys touch each other as some will have reactions to the materials in the other toys. Many come with handy storage bags, so use these to store your toys and put them in a safe place.

Related: How to keep your toy clean here!

Sex Toys For Women


Silicone Rabbit Suction Cup Dildo | Minds of Love


Often phallic shaped and realistic looking (for obvious reasons), are used for delicious fullness through penetration and internal stimulation.

They are different from vibrators in that they are a lot more old school without the buzz, so they do take a bit of extra work. These toys are available in a wide array of sizes, textures, materials, and colours.

If you’re new to this all, a dildo can be the perfect first play item, but don’t forget to lube up when giving it a go!

When it comes to choosing a dildo for the first time, it really all depends on what size does it for you. If it has veiny textures or ridges on the more discerning designs, this can mean extra stimulation.

The dildo options are endless, from double-ended dildos to strap ons, you are bound to be blown away.

“The oldest reported dildo is said to be 30 000 years old and was unearthed in a cave in Germany.”

Explore Oliva Grey’s Selection Here!

“RELATED: Dildos: 7 Key Considerations To Finding Your Perfect Phallic Friend



Classic G-Spot Bullet Vibrator Je Joue in Hand

These can be similar to dildos with the exception that they also vibrate, and they too can come in many shapes and sizes.

They’re designed to give you maximum pleasure – something another human won’t be able to replicate.

It was found that 75% of women can only orgasm through clitoral stimulation, so having a vibrator that can both penetrate and offer clitoral stimulation — and even g-spot stimulation — is a game-f#$king-changer, if you get the drift.

Each one can come with its own intensity level. If you’re a novice it’s best to choose one with a lower vibration level, to begin with.

If you’re looking for something a bit more discreet, affordable or if you’re just starting out, then bullet vibrators will be your new best friend.

The old adage of dynamite comes in small packages couldn’t be truer for this small and powerful toy — meant for purely clitoral stimulation these vibrators will leave you buzzing for hours.

Perfect for either self lovin’ or with a partner, this is one toy you can’t go wrong with.

The size allows you to take playtime anywhere and some even have a softer vibration sound allowing you to have all the good feels whenever, wherever.

This is one toy that you’ll keep forever.

“The first ever electric vibrator was officially patented by Hamilton Beach in 1902. It was the first domestic appliance that was electrified after the sewing machine, fan, toaster and tea kettle.”

Viva la vibrator, read more about using one here

Buying your first vibrator

The ins and outs of vibrators

Vibrators: Choosing The Right “Vibe” For Good Vibrations All The Time!

Explore Olivia Grey’s Selection of Vibrators Here!

Kegel balls & Love Eggs

kegel Balls

Kegel balls or Ben Wa Balls are these little balls you insert into your vagina to help you tighten the vagina and pelvic floor muscles – also known for increasing sexual pleasure.

Not used in the traditional way of many other adult sex toys, kegel balls can be incredibly beneficial to your overall sexual health.

Found along the pelvic floor, your kegel muscle is also known as the pubococcygeus muscle.

You know that feeling of needing to pee so bad you have to clinch? Well turns out, that is the kegel muscle that you’re clenching when you’re holding it in.

This motion of squeezing is the basis of Kegel exercises, which rely on repeated contraction and release to grow stronger.

Get clenching!

”Although Kegel exercises are largely promoted toward those with a vagina, the fact is that those with a penis can too!”

Tighten things up with Kegel Balls – The Unkeepable Secret

Explore Olivia Grey’s Kegel Ball selection here!

Sex Toys For Men


Male Masturbators

There’s a variety to choose from, but some of the more popular ones are male masturbators, penis pumps and prostate massagers.

Just as vibrators implore female solo play, so can male masturbators like the fleshlight.

If you are looking to take your one on one time to the next level then this is the way to go.

Simulate the real feel sensations of sexual intercourse with these artificial female bits made out of silicone.

There are vibrating options and plenty of discretely-disguised designs, which can increase sexual stamina, improve performance and techniques, and heighten and intensify orgasms — way more than any hand can deliver.

“Did you know that more than 7 million fleshlights have been sold worldwide

Related: Fleshlight Beginners Guide

Penis Pump

Ah, the penis pump! You may be most familiar with this device from the movie Austin Powers.

Penis Pumps

Often at the butt of most jokes and frat movies, one may feel it’s a negative thing to be using such a thing, but quite the contrary.

The device allows for a vacuum suction that pulls additional blood into your penis.

The additional blood can help you achieve an erection and even increase the size of your member — results will vary between individuals.

Of course, it’s not permanent, but after using the pump to make the penis erect, you can pop on a cock ring to prevent the blood flow from rushing out.

Just be careful and avoid any potential injuries by using a cock ring for no more than 20 minutes at a time.

Happy pumping!

Do You Need Penis Enlargement? Or Are You Just Fuqing Lazy?

Beginners Guide: How to Use a Penis Pump

Prostate Massager

Eupho Syn Prostate Massager Aneros

A prostate massager is used on the prostate gland, which is a walnut-sized organ found in men.

Located in front of the rectum, between the bladder and the penis, it secretes a fluid that feeds and protects the sperm.

Not only are there a range of sexual health benefits to massaging this area, but it’s also said that a man can have the most mind-blowing orgasms thinkable — similar to a woman’s g-spot.

This handy device will rock your world so hard that it’s possible to ejaculate without needing any touch or penetration of the penis.

I mean, what even is life?!

Why Prostrate Massage Is So Damn Good, And How To Do It Right! Hitting That P-Spot

Sex Toys For Men: A Beginners Guide

Explore Olivia Grey’s Male Toys Here!

Anal Sex Toys


Anal play is not prescriptive and is open to both couple or solo play.

Often this is an area we are most curious to try out, but also afraid to give a go because we don’t often know what the hell we’re doing.

” Anal toys can be enjoyed by everyone and anyone, no matter which specific sexuality or gender identity you may subscribe to.”

Starting out slow is recommended to tune into what your body is ready for, don’t push something you’re not even a little bit comfortable with.

You want to be completely relaxed, and any kind of tension can lead to injury and that’s definitely something we want to avoid.

Some days you’ll be more into it than other days and that’s totally ok!

Anal toys are super popular and they’re designed to stimulate the many nerve endings found in the anus making sex even more lusciously orgasmic.

These toys can add another playful dimension of pleasure to your sexy time, but please for the love of all things pleasurable don’t go putting any old thing up there!

It’s important to only use toys that are specifically designed for the anus, otherwise, you may just lose something up there!

Now that would be a pretty embarrassing trip to the ER…

Number 1 thing to remember when it comes to anything anal – lube is your best friend!

Anal Beads

Pleasure Intensified Silicone Anal Beads Hand | Fifty Shades of Grey

Anal beads are a great place to start as a solo beginner or couple – they’re easy to use, less intimidating in size and have gradually increased sizing for when you’re ready to take it up a notch.

There’s a handle on the end, making it easy for you or a partner to rev things up or slow things down.

It’s the perfect toy for gently introducing something foreign into your anus.

Butt Plugs

Jewelled Beginner's Metal Butt Plug

The name is pretty self-explanatory — it’s a device that plugs into your butt!

As pleasurable as anal beads, these will also have you in a state of bliss.

Butt plugs have a small end that can gently be inserted, with an option of going gradually larger. There is a handle at the base for safety, so you don’t have to worry about it disappearing into the anal ether.

Start out small if you’re a beginner or go large if you’re experienced and crave something more to fill you right up.

Anal Dildos/Vibrators

G5 Tiger G-Spot Vibrator Both

Be warned this is not for beginners, but for those who know what they want and are ready to take deep to a whole new level.

Dildos and anal vibrators come in a variety of sizes, some can strap on, while others can even have a suction cup allowing you to mount your big boy of choice to the wall.

Dive a bit deeper into butt plugs for beginners here!

Butt it up with with this beginners guide to anal sex toys here!

Explore Olivia Grey’s Anal toy selection here!

Sex Toys For Couples

When looking to bring a toy into your coupleship, it’s advised to have an open and honest conversation with your partner first before springing something on them in between the sheets.

You want to make sure they are as comfortable with the idea as you are.

Having conversations about what you like and don’t like, what you’re curious about and what really gets your juices flowing is necessary when you’re in a relationship with someone.

Not only does this create intimacy through vulnerability and communication, but it can also lead to a super sexy adventurous time in the bedroom, which will ultimately bring you closer.

How to introduce sex toys to your partner

Playtime for couples, where to start!

Cock Rings & Couples Vibrators

Two can play at that game — it’s double trouble (of the good kind) when it comes to these handy little playthings which are the perfect beginners’ toys for couples.

Cock Ring

Stimulating Rechargeable Rabbit Cock Ring Happy Rabbit On

For use with a male partner, a cock ring stretches over the penis and provides stimulation to both partners during penetrative sex.

Some cock rings vibrate, while other ones provide stimulation based on their shape and texture.

All in all, it’s a win-win for everyone involved.

As these are on the more affordable side, they can be a great way to start out and see what the hype is all about.

”Did you know that cock rings are used to “restrict blood flow out of the penis, which creates sensations of tightness and pressure that many men find pleasurable.”

Ring of deliciousness, the complete guide to cock rings here!

Explore Olivia Grey’s Selection of Cock Rings Here!

Couples Vibrator

We-Vibe Match Remote

This C-shaped toy fits comfortably into your partner’s vagina. One end wraps around her clit, bringing her to orgasm, and the thinner end slides inside the vagina, stimulating the G-spot.

It’s designed with the ability to be worn during penetrative sex, turbo-charging her vagina, turning it into its own vibrator itself, which will feel fantastic on your cock during sex.

If you’d rather sit back, watch and touch yourself while you enjoy the show, it even comes with a remote.

Bondage Toys

Pleasure Overload 10 Days Of Play

Is erotic fantasy your thing?

Well, make it your reality by diving into the world of bondage!

Just remember that communication is key and keep that safe word handy;)

Largely romanticized by the 50 Shades of Grey films, many are now curious about what this is all about.

The world of bondage and BDSM are for those that are wanting to explore feelings of teasing, pleasing, restraint and anticipation.

Does the idea of being completely submissive to your partner or dominating them turn you on?

If your answer is yes, then this is a road you will enjoy walking/laying (depending on your role).

Start out slow with the use of ticklers, blindfolds, and handcuffs. These are a fun and safe way to start testing your limits and handing control back and forth.

Paddles and crops could be your next step into testing out the waters of pain limits.

Submit fully with gags and restraints, or go all the way with nipple and clit clamps.

”It was reported that sales in bondage toys increased by 50% after 50 Shades of Grey became popular.”

Domination For Beginners: Fifty Shades Freed From Inhibition

I’ve Tied My Lover Up. Now, What Do I Do?

We Want Kinky Play: Where Do We Start?

Explore Olivia Grey’s Bondage Toy selection here!

Gay & Lesbian Sex Toys

Most of the toys already mentioned can be used by both men and women no matter what sexual identity or preference you may have.

Here we want to focus on some popular toys for same-sex partner fun.

Dual-Ended Vibrators

Strapless Strap-On Happy Rabbit Flexible

Maintain your freedom of movement with the double dildo

Share the intensity of unadulterated, ecstatic orgasms if you’re in a lesbian coupleship.

Designed to pleasure an active partner and a passive partner simultaneously, you really can’t go wrong here.

Strap on Dildo

Boyfriend Hollow Dildo Strap On | Malesation

The strap-on dildo can be used by women who are wanting to role play or just have some good ol’ deep penetration.

For men, the hollow dildo strap-on allows you to fit your penis comfortably inside giving you some extra length and girth to help you go further.

Read our Strap-on Guide. Strap me Up!

The Climax

I hope this guide has been able to give you a deeper insight into the world of adult play.

Whether you’re a sex toy beginner or have years of experience with adult sex toys, this is a world that is meant to be enjoyed, both adventurously as well as safely.

Don’t let any stigma you may feel hold you back from trying something new. Our sexuality is meant to be explored and there is nothing wrong in that.

From vibrators to dildos, to strap-ons and cock rings, to an array of male and female toys, there really is something for everyone.

Sexual pleasure will be taken to a whole new level that you won’t ever be able to forget!

Get to know yourself or a partner like never before, because in the beautifully descriptive (and pleasantly accurate) lyrics of Mr. John Mayer, “your body is a wonderland.

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